Mom gave me cash
They put her in pink
Dad even winked

Wait it gets worse
They’ll stair outside
from the window to see if we kiss
Valentine’s alone is better than this.

She ordered the garlic bread
So I got her back
I sat in the bathroom
for an hour and a half

Then at the table
She wrote me a poem
“How sweet of you
to smell like freaking poo”
that’s when I puked,
Now she smelled too

This is the kicker
my parents, as they stare
“Let’s just get this over with”
and so I made the move
tripped on my shoe lace .

There goes her nose
(not to mention my face)
but I’m almost pretty sure
I at least made first base.

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