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“Better than sex”
“Oh boy, this PP&J is going to be better than sex!!” I’ve never had sex(moving on). This is a constant battle at edge of my tongue for control over my conscious being. “will he say it’s better than sex?” And this, is just the problem. I’ve almost said at least twenty-seven times today “Oh boy! This is going to be better than sex!’ This type of verbal, mental, or written reference will not be tolerated, not by me. All things pure and holy, particularly food, have been subject to being…you know. The sentence almost secedes from me, except that I’ve bitten my upper lip… . All just to avoid socially awkward conversations. It has become far too difficult. If these words come out in the open, it would be better heard on the internet, where, most people can’t see me. Where I can hide in embarrassment from the distance of a computer screen. Perhaps I’ve finally coming to terms with the fate of my life, that it will be led with cats and music and writing, Peanut butter jelly sandwiches because I can’t cook. Maybe this is all mental preparation for the future. What if this is all going on subconsciously and I’m forced to think to myself these words, well, in light of how my life will turn out? “oh boy, this is going to be better than…” Better than what? There’s really no way to say that word anymore. It’s a naughty word. I’d rather say cat…and writing and…and….the list goes on and on. Writing, reading, driving, petting, living, dirty rooms, playing music, hearing music, eating, eating and eating.
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